"What Do You Do?” is Becoming an Inappropriate Question

Dec 18, 2024

Reframing the conversation can change your social experience

Ric Edelman: It's Wednesday, December 18th. You're at a social setting. You're meeting people for the very first time. What's a common question you ask as an icebreaker? Where do you live? How do you know the hosts? What do you do? That last one, that's a really challenging question. We need. to deal with this. You see, for the last 100 years, what you do for a living is equal to who you are. Your social standing is reflected by your job. Your income certainly is, your level of education or expertise. You tell somebody what you do for a living, you're pretty much telling them how much education you've got.

And you're also telling them by answering what you do for a living, you're also telling them whether it's really worth their time to even just talk to you. Well, that is a challenge for a lot of people. I mean for some folks, this is nothing new. Stay-at-home moms have dealt with this forever, but now so many others are dealing with this too, because we now have 10,000 people retiring every day.

And if you're one of those folks whose adult lives have all been centered on what you do, you've now got to figure out how do you answer that question when somebody says, what do you do? Stay-at-home dads, career changers who are in between jobs, gig workers who, frankly, don't do any one thing, they do a lot of different things. Baby boomers who are forced into retirement because of ageism, people who got laid off from work.

All of these folks struggle to answer the question when asked by a stranger at a cocktail party, so what do you do? So, on the one hand, you need to be ready if you're ever asked the question, what do you do? And you’ve got to think about this. So, ask yourself this, what makes you happy? You happy being a spouse or a parent, a hobbyist? Do you love being a volunteer? Do you love sitting on boards?

Reframe your answer instead of referring to a job that you no longer have or a career you've left? You want to reframe your skills. Don't relate it to work, but to some other aspect of your life. What do I do? I play the guitar all day. What do you do? I work out all day. What do you do? I play golf. What do you do? I volunteer. Reframe your skill set. What do you do? I love doing puzzles.

And then take some small steps. Go get some new hobbies. Go do new things. Go meet new people. And you could use that as your answer. What do you do? Oh, I rediscover, I reinvent myself every day. And that will allow you to change how you introduce yourself to new people. And the next time you meet somebody, instead of asking yourself, instead of asking them, what do you do? You can ask a new question. What are you up to these days? Or, how was your day today? Or what do you like doing?

I'll tell you what one friend of mine does. He left his job and now spends most of his time helping other executives get used to not having a job. So when he's asked, what do you do? He says, I don't do, I used to do, but now what I do is help people who do do, stop doing. That's a great icebreaker.

It's hard to believe that it's been 35 years on the air. I've done more than 1,500 radio broadcasts over the last three decades, more than 500 podcasts in the last three years alone. And my podcasts are winding down. My last one, as I've told you is December 27. I'm so glad you've been with me all these years. If you want to stay connected with me, be sure to join my distribution list.

Just click on the link in the show notes. I'll make sure you continue to get the latest that I offer on exponential technologies, crypto, Alzheimer's, longevity, investing, all the topics that matter most to us all. Thank you for being with me all these years. I'm looking forward to many more with you.

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Links from today’s show:

1/15 Webinar - Your Crypto Questions Answered: https://dacfp.com/events/your-crypto-questions-answered

12/10 Webinar Replay - The Retirement Revolution: ETF Solutions for Modern Retirement Planning: https://www.thetayf.com/pages/the-retirement-revolution-etf-solutions-for-modern-retirement-planning

12/9 Webinar Replay - What the Election Results Mean for Crypto: https://dacfp.com/events/what-the-election-results-mean-for-crypto

2/24-2/26 Wealth Management Convergence-2025: https://www.thetayf.com/pages/convergence

11/13 Webinar Replay - An Innovative Way to Generate Income in a World of Declining Rates: https://www.thetayf.com/pages/november-13-2024-an-innovative-way-to-generate-income

10/9 Webinar Replay - Crypto for RIAs: Yield, Staking, Lending and Custody. What’s beyond the ETFs? https://dacfp.com/events/crypto-for-rias-yield-staking-lending-and-custody-whats-beyond-the-etfs/